"If I can't dance, I don't want to be a part of your revolution..."

Unlike Deirdre, I'm not yet planning to balance career and motherhood. I have just been accepted into a Masters program that will start in 3 months time, and will, in fact, be held on Saltspring Island. But that will not be full time, and although much work, will be manageable while still being a stay-at-home Mama.
Right now though, I want to talk about balance too. I DO relate to Deirdre in seeking a balance- the balance between Amy-as-a-Mother, and Amy-as-Amy.
People comment on my daughter's strong legs, saying "She could be a dancer". I am proud as punch. Yet niggling thoughts arise...
One of the reasons I am going back to school is to address my own desire to fuel my artist that all-too-often got put aside for the sake of academia, or working in a "real" job. When the "dancer" comment is made, I find myself thinking, "I, too, want to dance".
Which is actually a terribly exciting thought, and terrifying in the same moment. By seeing the possibilities that are endless for my daughter, and wanting to help her believe that she can realize any and all of her dreams, I have reawakened my own dreams too.
And I am not willing to live vicariously through my daughter. "Oh, you should do this because I never got to"...rather, I want to inspire her in my own embracing of life's opportunities.
So uh, yeah, that means I actually have to DO it.
I did a Beginner's Ballet class just over a month ago. I walked into the class with my old ballet slippers and nervous trepidation. I put the slippers on , and promptly took them off as I realized my feet have grown since I was 16 years old! I felt frumpy, my butt only just squished into the tights I put on, and I was royally dizzy when we did our turns portion of the class. I left thinking "Well, at least the classical music was beautiful".
Yet, as I went for a walk the next day, I felt fabulous. New muscles had begun to twitch. "Do this again, and soon!" they seemed to say to my body.
However, Mayana got sick, and then the week after that I travelled with her, and then two weeks later, with certified Mummy-brain (it is a real illness!), I got the day wrong for the class.
I give myself credit. I'm a Mother now, and I'm proud that role comes first for me right now. But I'm catching myself humming classical songs these days, I surreptitiously point my toes while standing in lines, and I think I'm going to go shopping for some new ballet slippers...heck, gotta look a little more professional for the next class, right?!